1. The Rush of Inspiration...
It happens in an instant. One minute you're washing the dishes, and a brilliant idea pops into your head. It feels groundbreaking—an invention, a story, a career pivot. You drop what you're doing to grab a notebook or open your notes app. But before you’ve even finished writing down the first thought, two more ideas come rushing in, competing for your attention. By the end of the day, you're left with a list of half-formed ideas and no energy left to bring any of them to life.
I never once thought I might have ADHD until someone explained 'me' to me and suddenly a lot of things started to make sense.
Like many others, I find myself constantly caught between moments where I am locked-in and making things happen and periods of complete mental exhaustion. It’s a familiar ebb and flow—one that can feel exhilarating, but also overwhelming.
This isn’t just an occasional experience—it’s my life.
Sometimes, the brain is a storm of creativity, overflowing with ideas. Other times, we hyperfocus on a single idea or task, completely losing track of everything else—and everyone else. That flood of inspiration or focus often comes with a heavy cost: the inability to harness, balance, or act on those ideas in a meaningful way.
In fact, as you may have gathered, hyperfocus can be both a gift and a curse—allowing me to dive deep into a task, blocking out the noise and distractions, but sometimes at the cost of everything and everyone else, whether I mean to, or not.
2. The Nature of ADHD Creativity: Infinite Ideas, Finite Action, and the Emotional Rollercoaster
For many, creativity flows freely, often sparked by novelty.
The ADHD mind thrives on new stimuli, always searching for the next exciting project or experience. This makes the brain an idea machine—always generating possibilities. But that spark is fleeting. What starts as excitement can quickly fade, leaving behind an overwhelming sense of unfinished business.
Each new idea brings a jolt of excitement—a rush of dopamine that makes it feel like the answer to everything. It’s exhilarating and full of potential. But as time passes, that initial thrill fades, and the idea is left untouched. More ideas flow in, competing for attention -- again, along with everyone and everything else -- then suddenly the weight of all those half -baked thoughts and overwhelming mountain of evidence of all of your unfinished projects and rears it's pointy peak and it... sucks.
Because I still have a desire to do most of these things.
What began as limitless potential often turns into limited action. The emotional impact of this cycle—excitement followed by guilt—is significant. Why didn’t I finish that? Why am I always chasing the next thing? This rollercoaster of highs and lows is familiar to many leaving behind feelings of frustration and self-doubt.
It seems like, 9 times out of 10, I will stop working on something when it's about 80% finished and then I move on after realizing what the final result looks like. Truthfully, I think it is driven by pure curiosity and wonder. When the mystery is dispelled and I know what happens next... that is just as satisfying as actually completing the task.
Wow, what an incredible pain, right? Especially in situations where I am forced to carry out something to completion that I've already mentally moved beyond.
3. The Burden of Multi-Tasking and the Weight of Unfinished Ideas
With so many exciting possibilities, it's easy to fall into the trap of multi-tasking—trying to juggle multiple projects at once, but rarely finishing any of them, on-top of regular adult responsibilities -- work, kids, relationships, chores, self-care, all competing for the same pie. It's a nightmare to balance and priortize things I want and like to do with things I have to do and it takes constant effort to practice the mindfulness I need to be aware of these cycles.
My mind often struggles to settle on just one thing to focus on, so it tries to juggle everything. But instead of creating momentum, this can lead to paralysis. It’s like standing in a library filled with books you want to read, but you can’t pick one, so you leave with none.
As all of this piles up, they become mental clutter. Each idea feels like a task to be completed, even if it’s still just a thought. The more ideas you have, the heavier the mental load becomes.
This is the curse of ADHD-fueled creativity: the ability to generate so many ideas, but the struggle (and sometimes complete lack of ability) to carry them through to completion. The weight of all this can be overwhelming, leading to stress, guilt, and burnout.
Ask me how I know.
4. Burnout: The Hidden Danger of Endless Ideas
Despite the whirlwind of chaos it brings, I thrive under pressure, especially when that chaos is at its peak. In fact, when it comes to my professional career, I seek it out constantly.
However, the danger lies in the fact that once the world realizes how much pressure we can endure, it presses harder. We keep going, absorbing more and more, until we reach our breaking point. We push ourselves until there’s nothing left to give, and there’s nothing left to take.
I find it very difficult to find time for proper recovery. All of these things, every idea, task, person that needs my help, is more important than me recovering and staying healthy. Every new project, every fresh idea adds to the mental load. Without systems in place to manage that load, the weight eventually becomes too much, and it did.
3 times.
Despite all that I know and understand, I still fall into the same mental traps. I was almost on my way to number 4, but I've learned to recognize this pattern of behavior and prioritize things differently. It's a work in progress.
Burnout is absolutely brutal. I'll spare you the details, but throughout each of those periods I had no choice but to just. keep. going.
To recover from the first one, I had to quit the Air Force, which I absolutely loved. I initially planned to do the full 20. Give 20 years of my life to this country -- and dang it, I kicked ass in almost every conceivable way! Besides taking care of myself, I guess.
As the guy who knew the stuff in my squadron, on the surface, I probably seemed very well put together, on top of my game, doing good stuff, happy, social, etc. But really I was struggling every single day. Nothing ever came easy to me and I felt like I had to work 4x harder than anyone else just to keep up. The problem is, that is not sustainable.
Not only is it impossible to recover from burnout unless you make drastic changes to your life, which in many situations, just isn't a feasible solution and only comes to fruition as a last resort.
Even when you are able to do something about it, the road to recovery is long and hard.
This constant cycle of pushing ourselves toward burnout, paradoxically, is what often leads to our ability to thrive under immense pressure and potentially sow the seeds of greatness.
If you make it there, anyway.
I almost didn't.
5. Living Under Pressure: A Unique Adaptation
I put a lot of this pressure on myself initially. I made a decision that I was going to be the best and so that's what I tried to do and still try to do, even after 10 years, that switch still hasn't flipped in my brain.
I believe we can reasonably conclude that rapping is at least 50% easier than working in tech... so far. This might make more sense later.
Guess you better keep reading.
Anyway, I function very well in high-pressure situations regardless of what is going on, because I am already filled with anxiety and accustomed to being overwhelmed by things I can’t control. The constant barrage of tasks, the unknowns, and the future feel impossible to plan for, because I change with the wind in a goddamn hurricane.
The world is full of unpredictability for neurodivergent minds, and yet, amidst that internal chaos, we manage to survive—if not thrive—within that storm.
Here’s the catch—because we thrive under pressure, and we already put a lot of that pressure on ourselves, the world takes notice. It realizes how much pressure we can endure, and so it presses harder and harder. Eventually, though, that pressure becomes too much. We break.
Positive pressure creates diamonds, but when there is too much negative pressure, it can also shatter those same diamonds.
For me, I have extremely high expectations for myself professionally. Personally, I really am bad at almost everything so it takes a lot of work to get good at something and a lot of the time I don't have the energy nor the desire. There's also a lot less external-pressure for me to actually do those things well, or do them at all, because, quite frankly... I don't care that the bag has been sitting in the corner for 6 months because it doesn't need to be moved for any particular reason.
Fortunately, I hate clutter, so I do have some positive pressure to keep my things organized.
6. Navigating the Cycle: From Creativity to Overwhelm and Back Again
The cycle of creativity, excitement, guilt, overwhelm, and burnout is a share experience for me and many others, but we are often fighting a silent battle, often without the knowledge or tools to cope effectively, and thus, the 'super powers' of ADHD become severe detriments to our livelihoods. Many of them are probably people you know.
Building routines and prioritizing ideas helps me avoid getting overwhelmed. I rely heavily on synchronized notes, calendars, and bookmarks across all of my devices just to function day-to-day. It's like I require an additional module that wasn't available at birth that gives us the extra RAM to maintain all of this and various coping strategies try to fill in that missing piece
Having external accountability or task management systems is key to ensuring that ideas don’t slip through the cracks. This alone is a massive amount of effort and upkeep because these tools don’t work unless I take the time to input tasks, set reminders, and update them regularly. You can imagine the added challenge this creates in my daily as single father of two young children and a senior professional within my industry.
It’s important to recognize that this cycle is not all negative. There’s immense value in the creativity that ADHD brings—it's just a matter of finding the right systems and support to harness that potential without getting lost in the storm. While it may feel like it's just too much at times, this cycle is also the source of some of my most creative moments. With the right support, it becomes less of a burden and more of a strength.
And remember: You're not in this alone.
That is something that took far too long to realize.
7. And then there's AI.
AI has opened up new possibilities—helping me get organized, stay on top of tasks, or even handle the small jobs I struggle to break away from bigger projects for. It's the reason I’m able to write this and post it on a website I created two years ago, before I was even diagnosed with ADHD.
Honestly. often times, I do feel a little robotic and notice I have more in common with the AI than I would like.
And not just because people think we're both robots.
I'm not really a robot. The truth is, I am alien.
That was a human joke.
...
I mean, the way we learn. The more good data you feed us... the better the result.
It's interesting to think about and I have very unscientific ideas about how we can improve AI by mimicking how the human brain is compartmentalized. Yes, you can believe your eyes. You're seeing one of my absolutely brilliant ideas manifest in real time. I suppose we are somewhat childlike in that we never really lose that sense of wonder, despite how wrong of a fit the world is for us and the way our minds function.
We are constantly learning, adapting, and finding ways to navigate through life's challenges.
The same can be said of AI. AI thrives on good data, just as neurodivergent people thrive with the right support and environment. AI can break down tasks into manageable pieces, assist with reminders, and help maintain focus. From task management to creative support, AI offers a way to translate the chaos of the neurodivergent mind into tangible outcomes.
I read a Reddit post on /r/sysadmin today from someone who couldn’t think of a single way that AI could help them, I immediately thought, 'That's ridiculous! I could name 100 things that AI could help with right now!'
And if you haven't guessed it by now, one of those ideas was this post.
AI has become a kind of partner in my workflow—offering support in areas where my brain might otherwise falter. Whether it's managing a string of tasks or dealing with anything involving numbers, AI has played a key role in filling in the gaps for the past couple of years and has allowed me to stop the progression to the burnout stage, even though my life has been EVEN more chaotic than it ever has been before. Granted, it's not ALL AI. I have decades of coping strategies and medication now.
These things mitigate. They do not remediate.
I've learned how to communicate with my AI tools, and I've become very proficient with them so that they do a great job of interpreting what I want to accomplish and deliver results. I am also very well-versed in their flaws and limitations and how to overcome them. It's kind of like learning a new language that no-one really knows how to teach.
I am surprised and not surprised by at the same time when I realize how LITTLE my colleagues use AI. Drafting messages, emails, formatting, grabbing and formatting text from images, I could go on and on with how I leverage it for these menial, mind-numbing, unexceptional and unexciting administrative tasks.
As AI continues to evolve, I can’t help but wonder how much more it will assist people like me—offering new ways to channel creativity without being overwhelmed by it, and helping us navigate the chaos of ideas. And I couldn't be more excited to be on the precipice.
Just as AI learns and grows more efficient with the right input, those of us with special brains can thrive when given the right tools and structure. AI doesn’t just support me; it evolves alongside my needs, becoming a true partner in navigating the storm. As the landscape of AI continues to grow, so too will our ability to master the chaos of our own minds—transforming it into something powerful and productive
As well as anyone who is willing to listen, or needs a hand navigating this journey.
Special-brained or otherwise.
I guess this needs a part two, because I haven't even told you how to do it yet.
late-afterword: geez I didn't even get into all the other problems... executive function... sleep...impulsive behavior
maybe next time.
slightly-afterword - this turned into a 3 hour piece of work :D
Now let me tell you about my music career as a rapper, career as an author, special forces operative, career as a game dev, consulting, software engineering... I think you get the point.
"My hobby is collecting hobbies." - Someone, Somewhere
90% of this article was written and edited by AI in an hour. I've left the numbering because that was a key factor in helping me organize my thoughts in a way that flowed well. I then reviewed it section by section and again holistically asking for notes and suggestions and having the AI implement what I liked. Throughout this process I did prompt with ideas and thoughts I wanted to express.
After-word: I then went through it and added stuff inspired by the AI draft.
ok ok maybe it's now 80% AI after like 3 hrs
75 if you wanna be nice? idk I feel like I wrote a lot of words
Did anyone else binge read The Best Page in the Universe: https://maddox.xmission.com/ in their grandpa's basement when they were 13? You can probably tell what in spired my website design.
Cracked.com, anyone? RIP.
Is anyone still reading at this point?
No way, right?
I am way to serious. I need to lighten up and write a blog about how my favorite movies and restaurants...
join my site and I'll send you my soundcloud
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